angelsonfire (angelsonfire) wrote in suicidalxwh0re,
angelsonfire
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suicidalxwh0re

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a friend, a druggie, a drinker, a best friend

R. I. P.

Benjamin Elise Ryan

February 27, 1986-June 26, 1999

He was a friend, a son, a great person, a sweetheart, and an all around nice guy who went from this world to soon. He took his own life. He was a cutter, a druggie, a drinker. But most of all he was my friend, my best friend, and i loved him. When he slit his wrists he left me a cross. He gave it to me, kissed me, and then told me he loved me and would love me forever. I fell asleep listening to him sing and hold me. When i woke up i found him on the floor, bleeding to death in the bathroom. I couldn't understand. Why he did that, why he used my razor, just why. But i guess now i will never know.

On this anniversary of his death, i remember a lot of things. Good memories of him, bad memoriesof him. I remember at his funeral i said, "In life you are faced with many obsticles. Some are good, many are bad. Most however challenge you. Ben knew this. He knew the challanges he faced were hard. He was smart. However, this depression he was in, was just one challenge he couldn't overcome. He couldn't take it. It ended up consuming him." It was sad, but true. I just wish i could hear his voice again. That would make all the diffrence in the world. To hear his voice.  So ben if you hear me, i love you and miss you. I hope to see you later in the after-life. Goodbye ben.

 

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